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Here’s a boatload of knowledge you can put to work immediately: Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. A day without sunshine is like, well, night. On the other hand, you have different fingers. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. |
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If you’ve ever been shoe shopping with my girls, |
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Why Moms Yell So Much |
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| This is priceless. A wife crashes her own funeral, horrifying her husband, who had paid to have her killed.
Moral of the story? Pay close attention to who you hire! |
There are a lot of ways to compete in every industry, but McDonald’s billboard sets a new standard. Don’t miss this video. Nice of them, though, to provide directions to their nearby Burger King rival.
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Here are a few mottos to live by:
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Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?” Paddy: “We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
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| An answer I can understand…..
An American tourist asks an Irishman: “Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?” To which the Irishman replies: “If they fell forwards, they’d still be in the bloody boat.” |
Finnegan: “My wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning. I can’t break her out of it.” Keenan: “What on earth is she doin’ at that time?” Finnegan: “Waitin’ for me to come home.”
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| Paddy’s in jail. The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
“What the hell you doing?” he asks. “Hanging myself” Paddy replies. “It should be around your neck” says the Guard. “I know” says Paddy “but I couldn’t breathe”. |
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.” “That’s grand!’ shouted Reilly. Does that mean I can keep the money?”
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